Weddings Make Me Itchy
by Iroka
Summary: There was something about his brother getting married that rubbed Tobirama the wrong way... One-shot.


**Author's note:**  
>This is a quick one-shot I wrote over a span of three days for a fanfic contest on a Naruto site. Since it won unanimously, I was pretty pleased and thought maybe it's worth posting on here. :D All the characters are canon and were required for the contest. So it may seem a bit odd that I put Yugao in here. For those who don't remember her, she was the purple-haired anbu from the Chunin Exams Arc. Besides her being thrown in everything else is kosher, I swear. xD<p>

Weddings make me itchy

When Hashirama, his brother, had told him he was going to marry a Whirpool girl he was surprised yet…not surprised. His brother was the leader of the clan and was strong enough in mind and body to make these sort of big decisions. To up and marry a girl you didn't really know was the norm, especially since it brought about a bond with another clan; it wasn't something Tobirama could see himself doing. Being his brother's right-hand man he didn't have quite the expectations from the rest of the clan yet they respected him in his own way and had only the expectations of him helping his brother, his clan. The attention for Tobirama seemed to focus on other things for now and not pressure to mold such bonds. He counted himself lucky but it wasn't like he thought much on love or even marriage. Though who was to say the two were connected. If you were lucky you'd grow to love your spouse over time, like his brother insisted. Either way he wasn't interested.

Time drew more near to the date his brother's future wife was to come. Tobirama seemed more nervous about it than his own brother. He really was strong willed to take it so lightly.

"You're the one taking it too seriously," Hashirama gave a faint smile as he rummaged through papers in his newly built office. "Hokage office" he liked to call it these days after the newly found term for the leader of this young settlement they called Konohagakure.

"Maybe so but meeting her only one time and agreeing to marry her…I don't know." Tobirama trailed off walking around the office finding random things to look at.

"That's one more time than most people have. The Uzumaki are cousins of ours, we want to keep that bond strong between our clans." He replied still looking at documents.

His brother was a man of much fewer words than he. Somehow he always managed to say what took him at least a paragraph more. He constantly carried the exterior of being wise, kind and strong. Which he was all those things unlike Tobirama who was a little more humorous and far from wise and kind. But no doubt he was strong, of course!

"Do you…like her?" He asked a little hesitantly pretending to be more interested in a book written in Kumo dialect he couldn't even read.

"She's a fine woman."

"Whaddya mean, she's good looking?" Tobirama looked to his brother puzzled.

Hashirama looked past his papers and to his pale brother. He carried the same calm presence as he always did when not in battle. Tobirama hated when his brother did that, could he just pretend to be less angelic for once?

"Remind me to never let you mentor children," The shodai said going back to his papers. "you're a pervert."

With that Tobirama sat the unread book back in the shelf and walked out, wondering off to do something else besides this awkward conversation.

War with Uchiha had ceased months ago and this village was being built under the watch of the Senju clan with the Uchiha clan that Tobirama still didn't care for in the least. Things were peaceful now, it was a time of settling down and trying to establish a permanent ninja village. Peace was boring even if he wanted to say it was preferred and that's what they had been fighting for. But still it was _boring_. Walking past in his thoughts avoiding the carpenters building housing for the new people swarming in everyday he tried to avoid the thoughts of his brother and how their life was about to change.

It had always been the two of them, never any serious girlfriends, never any other siblings. Just them. He knew a day would come they would have to start thinking about this but unrealistically he always hoped to be an eternal bachelor. Half of Tobirama thought Hashirama was too angelic to ever get a wife and the other half knew he'd be the type to let a bunch of elders choose for him. Having many flings himself he was far from too angelic to get a wife but possibly far from dedicated to stay with one woman.

There was one thing Tobirama stayed dedicated to, his clan. Nothing else. If his clan decided to settle down in a village or a swamp he'd do it with everything he had in him. But he never shared the same dedication to bonds or partners. Though if his clan requested he marry a woman for the clan…

"Deep thinking. A rarity for you." Hearing a voice join beside him he looked over in agitation.

"Toka, you're not dressed like a man, a rarity for you as well. Must be opposite day."

"I would prefer to be in something other than my civilian clothes but I'm busy helping plan Ms. Mito's arrival." Toka replied dryly. It was obvious she was not comfortable in her plain gray yukata. Even when in woman's clothing she still wore that high bun and walked in it like she were a man.

"Who's that? Is she hot?" Tobirama scratched his chin in fake ponder.

Toka granted him an elbow to the side. And not the flirty girly kind, the manly kind that could break something. Use to much more blows to his side from battle Tobirama hardly flinched but he knew he'd still welcome a large bruise by the end of the day.

"How can you be such a lecher to your future sister?" She scoffed still walking beside him.

"Oh, so that's her name?" He replied dully, wishing for this new turn of conversation to end.

"Uzumaki Mito, you'd be well to remember that when she arrives any day now."

"She must be a red head…you know red heads aren't exactly my thing but I've seen a few cute ones…."

"Honestly Tobi, how did you and Lord Hashirama come from the same parents?" Toka walked faster keeping up with Tobirama's increasing pace to get away from her.

"You know I noticed…." Tobirama said coming to a slow stop and turning towards Toka. She stopped too and looked at him puzzled contemplating what one earth he was up to next. "You call me Tobi. Not Tobirama or Tobirama-san or even a cute nickname like Rama-sama, just Tobi. You must feel really close to me." He smiled to her dreamily.

Rage quickly filled her eyes and she stormed off before saying anything, though her loud mumbling could be heard from streets away. He chuckled in victory, saying anything that reminded her she was a girl always got her to go away.

Teasing always made him feel a little better when in tough situations. He was maybe the third strongest shinobi in existence (under Hashirama and Madara Uchiha, respectively) but he had a very different way of dealing with situations than the top two fighters. Something they all agreed on, when in battle they were fierce and showed little mercy. Though Madara seemed to run his whole life on and off battle this way. If Tobirama had doubted his brother's skills to get a wife he doubted Madara's even more. The two clan leaders seemed to handle stress in a much more serious manner than Tobirama.

Where he got his humor from he wasn't sure. He had heard his father was much more laid back than their mother. Being that Hashirama and himself had lost their father very young they didn't recall much of anything about him. Though the pictures of him showed he looked much like Hashirama, Tobirama taking most of his looks from his mother. He was also a water type user just like her though she preferred to build herself in genjutsu to fight against the Uchiha. Red eyes were always said to be a blessing of skill in genjutsu and it's been proven almost everybody born with red eyes were very skilled in the art. The future second hokage much preferred to work on his world-renowned skills in his water-style than genjutsu. Though he was skilled in that along with everything else the ninja world had to offer.

His reasoning being that he was from the superior (much more superior than Uchiha in every single way) Senju clan! Even if they had built a village together, he still couldn't drop the rivalry. Ever.

"Boss! Hey bossss!"

"Saru, what can I do for you today?" Tobirama looked ahead to see Hiruzen Sarutobi and his best friend Danzo Shimura running towards him. These two boys never left him alone to teach them new jutsu. He found it a little annoying but his brother seemed to take a special interest in them.

"I know my clan name means monkey but can we cut the jokes and get to training?" Hiruzen asked impatiently as Danzo stood there staying quiet as always. Though it was obvious he wanted to be trained too or he wouldn't be standing there.

"Go away, I'm busy." Tobirama replied walking back on his path, not even sure where he was going.

"Geez are you busy planning the wedding too? Shouldn't only girls be doing that?" Hiruzen wrinkled his nose chasing behind his role model.

He scoffed. "If even the kids know about this wedding, this village is as boring as I thought."

"Everybody knows when a leader is getting married," Danzo replied quietly chasing with Hiruzen.

"Nothing boring about the great Hashirama breaking every girl's heart." A feminine voice said touching Tobirama's shoulder.

"_That voice…" _Tobirama thought to himself. He didn't even have to look to recognize.

"Aren't you gonna say hello?" She gave a fake pout.

"You don't want a simple hello…" Tobrama said coolly "Yugao."

"Who's that?" Danzo whispered to Hiruzen, thinking the two adults couldn't hear them.

"That's Yugao, boss said something like she's a girl you hit and quit." Hiruzen nodded.

Danzo gave a puzzled look.

"I think it means when adults battle each other!" The future sandaime concluded nodding.

Within two seconds Danzo and Hiruzen were sent flying in the air by a gush of water and into a pile of construction workers causing enough chaos to keep them away for a loooong time.

"You jerk!" Yugao shouted elbowing Tobirama in the same spot Toka had just minutes ago.

Blocking the hit for the most part Tobirama laughed nervously "Oh come on, you know kids they lie all the time. Come on, I never said that."

"_Last time I teach those kids anything about women…" _he sighed to himself.

"Sure you didn't," She replied venomously flipping her long purple hair.

"Don't you have a boy to sink your fangs into?" He asked hating that so many angry girls were crossing his path today.

"I came to do just that to you but I'm not going to now," She pouted her lips covered in red lipstick.

Tobirama preferred it that way, when she tried to start a fling it always ended in her trying to marry him. Or should he say trap him in a marriage.

"Shouldn't you be off helping plan the wedding? If Toka is helping out you know every person with female parts is included." He yawned starting to get hungry from all this wedding talk. The only thing he did at weddings was eat to his heart's content.

"I'm set to go pick her up outside the village, Shodai requested that of a few high ranked female Senju members." She replied folding her arms and sticking her hip out in her kunoichi garb. She thought it was so attractive when she did that.

"So gentlemanly of him," Tobirama deadpanned.

"Yeah, he broke every Senju girl's heart and beyond deciding to get married." She gushed dramatically.

"Yeah well, most girls are just as power hungry as you." He sighed. This is why he didn't like having serious girlfriends, they only liked him and his brother because they were from the head family.

"Survival-of-the-fittest," She simply replied "why wouldn't a girl want the best?"

"Because they're not the best?" He laughed walking away from her.

"Hey! Tobirama! Where are you going?"

"Away from you and all this marriage talk." he mumbled getting lost in the noon crowd.

Finding himself outside the village and towards the mountains he sat down on a rock and lulled to the sound of the construction workers building yet even out here.

They never spoke and never bugged him about his brother's wedding, so they got along just fine. Looking up at the sign he saw it said in sloppy characters "Hot spring". That had to be a civilian thing, during the days of the wandering clan, they never had time for a hot spring, let alone build one.

"I hear hot springs is where girls go to get naked!" Hiruzen said jumping out of the bush.

Tobirama's face sunk. "There's no getting rid of you."

"Did you come here to see the naked girls too?" Hiruzen asked slyly inching toward him.

"First of all, it's still being built, secondly girls don't just come here to get naked and thirdly you're a pervert."

"They don't, then what do they do?" Saru asked now puzzled.

"They come here to get naked and sit in hot water." He replied matter-of-factly.

Saru's cheeks turned a shade of pink. "Even better,"

Tobi tried to hold back a smile, as much as kids following him around bugged him he always found Hiruzen's perviness to be amusing. Not to mention he was a good fighter for his age. If he liked kids anymore he definitely train the young monkey.

"If you don't cut that pervert talk I'm going to curse you," He replied feeling in the mood to humor the young boy.

"Oh? Is it gonna be like a jutsu?" He asked excited coming closer.

"I'm going to curse you with a student **soooo **pervy he reaches sage status. He will surpass you by a long shot."

Saru looked on in ponder at the statement, not sure if that was a curse or not. "And what about the other students?"

"Oh them?" Tobirama thought. "Well I'll curse them too… One will look like a freak and the other will be an abusive girl with boobs way too big." He said off the top of his head. He wasn't quite sure where he came up with that.

"Boss, that doesn't sound like much of a curse," Hiruzen laughed sitting beside him on the cool boulder tucked away in the shade.

"Then you are far stronger than I." He laughed patting his head.

* * *

><p>The next morning came and Tobirama found himself back in his brother's office, seeing if he needed anything.<p>

"Actually, I do." he responded.

His brother looked on confused as he was not reading through papers today, instead he was up and moving around his room doing really nothing. Tobi wouldn't call it jumpy, per se, since his brother had never been jumpy in his life. But it was the closest Hashirama would ever get to such a state.

He waited for him to continue.

"Ms. Mito will be arriving soon, so you need to stand beside me as we greet her." Hashirama said adjusting his hokage robe, making sure everything was in place.

He grunted in response, not happy to hear he had such a dog duty.

"Tobi," he started, calling his brother by his nickname "all hokage need a wife. The first, second, third, fourth. They will all have wives. Unless they're women, then I guess they'll have husbands." he said laughing.

"A woman leader, _really _Hashirama? Didn't you learn your lesson with mom?"

His brother simply patted his shoulder and gave him his angelic smile. "If anything happens to me, you will be hokage and if or when that happens I'd like you to find someone to take care of you while you take care of our home."

As always his first reaction was to scoff and act like it didn't interest him. Touching moments like this made him gag and the thought of his brother dying and him becoming leader….just wasn't something he could fathom.

"I'm not a leader, I'm not wise and I'm not kind like you." He replied walking out the door with his older brother. Finally accepting he also had to greet this new wife.

They walked in silence to the opening gate to see a lot of the village was there, Senju and all. Even Uchiha included. He looked on and saw everybody standing together waiting for their leader's fiance's arrival. It all made him even more uncomfortable yet his brother stood taller than ever.

Standing there and nodding to everybody who came Hashirama finally replied. "You are wise and kind and one day you'll be a great leader. The only thing holding you back is your own thoughts."

Tobirama didn't reply as they saw the carriage pull up to the opening gate and by the looks of the flamboyant style it had to be the person they were waiting for. The Whirlpool red swirl symbol embroidered on it with waves reminiscing of their home land. That was all way too much for just a simple carriage carrying some girl, the white haired man thought to himself.

Pulling up and coming to a stop in front of the Senju clan gathered in the front everybody anticipated to see this Uzumaki Mito that was going to be their new matron of the village. Everybody that had not seen her were wondering the same thing, what she would look like, how she would act. No one even knew of her status and what kind of family she was from. Though the popular rumor was she was the princess and daughter of the Whirlpool's kage. Whether true or not Hashirama never revealed.

The carriage door opened up and two red headed women scurried out, obviously she was some sort of royalty to have such five-star treatment. He watched their fiery red hair swing as they bent down in their elaborate multi colored kimonos and opened the way for Ms. Mito to step through.

The whole crowd watched every movement in slow-mo as she stepped out one foot, revealing a shiny pair of blue slippers. The sea of blue came pouring out as she stepped out into the light and revealed her decorative blue kimono with the red Whirlpool symbol standing out on her obi. The entrance to the gate was covered in trees and gave a nice amount of shade for everyone to view her with ease. The crowd smiled as they finally saw her in the flesh.

She paid no mind to the stares and walked along with her help to her future husband. Adorning the small crown on her head and her fire red buns on top made her stand out from most Uzumaki. When they all have red hair, I guess you have to find other ways to stand out…Tobirama thought.

The huge kimono flowed around her like waves in the ocean. Very nice and suiting but she was walking slower than an elderly woman. The younger Senju swore he aged a little just waiting for her to walk up to her new clan. If she had made him wait any longer he was going to carry her the rest of the way.

Mito nodded and bowed to her future husband and clan, a custom no matter where you were from. She had a similar air to her that Hashirama did. She did not seem afraid, nor nervous. Though she did not give off the presence of a kind-hearted woman she seemed to be wise and humble. That was all men asked of their wives when they were not kunoichi.

Hashirama and Mito spoke to each other in such a proper way, there was no emotion. It made Tobirama's stomach churn for some reason. To have to be so proper and fake to a woman you're going to marry…he didn't like it one bit.

"Welcome to Konohagakure," Hashirama said to wife formally.

"Thank you, I am happy to be here," she said waving her red fan towards her face. "it's lovely and you have a lovely home. Just as you described."

He looked on out of the corner of his eye as the two gave formal greetings. He noted her skin was very fair, just like him. Though it was probably from spending her days inside and never having to work. She had a wise face. Her eyes were smaller, which is said to mean someone is sly and cunning. She had nice high cheekbones and a small mouth. A look very suiting to be the hokage's wife. That conclusion irked Tobirama for some reason. The thought that was all coming together perfectly. He should be happy about that…

It was customary for a new bride to welcome her husbands immediate family. Whether a ninja clan or aristocrat honor to the family was key. Being that Tobirama was the only one, he dreaded this…

"Hashirama-san, you have a fine clan and a handsome brother." Mito nodded to her future brother in fake enthusiasm.

It was Tobi's turn to speak. "….You look lovely…like a panda…because of your hair…?"

Mito's eyes shot wide and everybody in the crowd froze in just as much shock. After a few silent moments and a very flustered redhead whispers were heard, some shocked, most not so shocked. Things only got worse when Hirusen's laughter was heard from the crowd and he started adding to it…

Hashirama kept a straight face through the whole ordeal. "Tobi," he finally spoke with a straight face still looking ahead in an authoritative manner "I take back everything I said."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>First fanfic about the old characters! I think my writing has grown a lot since my old fics I posted in 2007. Which I deleted most of them, by the way. D: Let me know what you think on the way I portrayed the characters. Kinda nerve wrecking to make up a personality for a minor character since some may have varying views on how they should act. I personally like the thought of Tobirama being the slightly rebellious younger brother not exactly wanting to grow up. ;) I hope the fellow Tobirama fans out there enjoyed it, he needs more love!


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